Celebrity babies

I am so bored with celebrities giving birth and feeling obliged to follow it up with the obligatory book. I do understand the desire to share because when I had my first son ** years ago, I thought that my experience was so dramatic and unusual I wanted to tell the world - a sort of "I suffered, so you don't have to" epiphany. Thank God there was no internet otherwise I'm sure I would have detailed my every scream on every site available - actually, I didn't scream because I was very good at the silent moan in between my paced breathing. Most annoyingly, over the 27 hours of labour (not quite as bad as Nicky Hambleton Jones' 963 - I jest but I guess that's how it felt - I lost at Scrabble because I could only manage such intricate words as "cat" and "no". "Help" would have been a good one but when I asked the God of the Scrabble bag to please let me have a 'p' he misunderstood.

Anyhow, the point is, when I got together with other mums over those endless teas, I realised that, without exception, we all wanted to share our 'unique' experience not just with each other but in the 'definitive' book. We all thought we had a valid story to share with the world. And then we got over it and got on with our post natal lives.

Not so celebrities. Unfortunately, these wunderkind are in a position where they actually can share their 'unique' experience in a book and are paid a lot of money to do so by publishers who believe we must all want to read about women who are obviously far more fascinating than us normal folk at giving birth. Everyone has a baby book from Tess Daly to Denise Van Outen but, gosh, Tess's book didn't sell despite all the publicity given to it courtesy of her husband. What will happen to Denise's? The fact is, celebrity or otherwise, everyone's experience is unique but maybe it's best we all bore our friends and get on with our lives. Like women have for years. Leave the advice to the professionals girls and stick to what you're good at - giving us those essential diet tips!